With Memorial Day coming up this Monday, I think it’s important to talk about something that many of us do not fully understand about mental health during this time of the year. For many people, Memorial Day means barbecues, boat days, travelling to see family, being with friends, or just enjoying the long weekend away from work. But for many veterans, Memorial Day can be an extremely emotional time of year because it forces some of us to think about experiences that we had to go through or the loss of a friend or family member.

Most of us can agree that we spend Memorial Day thinking about the people that we served with, some of which never made it home. Some think about the deployments they went on, funerals they went to, or traumatic experiences they went through. Some veterans will spend Memorial Day surrounded by people who don’t know that they’re privately struggling with anxiety, grief, emotional numbness, survivor’s guilt, depression, anger, PTSD symptoms, or feelings of isolation. Your buddies will just tell you to just grab a burger and then start blasting songs about America. They don’t understand why you’re not smiling.

When I was in the Marine Corps, Memorial Day was never treated like a celebration. It was always treated as a day of remembrance and sacrifice. I remember waking up bright and early and walking toward “The Reaper” near Camp Horno during Memorial Day weekend. Marines voluntarily climbed it together in honor of the fallen brothers and sisters who didn’t come back to base. Nobody was forced to do it, it was completely optional, but you bet every Marine showed up with two full canteens, because that day actually meant something to us. The mountain is so steep that once you start getting towards the end, you have to actually use your hands to climb the rest of it. A lot of us spent that day thinking about the people we lost, the sacrifices we witnessed, and the fact that some of us don’t make it home after service. 

The point of this article isn’t to get you to reminisce about old times, or to make you think of that buddy you had, it’s to remind you that if this upcoming holiday is challenging for you, you have people that you can talk to and resources available to you.

The Veterans Crisis Line is such an important resource for veterans and military families and a lot of people misunderstand what the Veterans Crisis Line actually is. Many assume it only exists for veterans who are actively suicidal or experiencing some sort of complete mental breakdown. 

That is not true at all. That number is there for you to call in any circumstance where you feel alone or defeated, or if you actually are going through a mental crisis.

Veterans contact the Crisis Line for many different reasons. Some veterans reach out because they feel overwhelmed mentally, while others may be struggling with PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, substance abuse, emotional exhaustion, sleep deprivation, or feelings of hopelessness after service. Others simply need somebody to talk to who understands military culture.

Military service changes people mentally whether veterans openly talk about it or not. You were taught to continue functioning under pressure regardless of pain, exhaustion, stress, or emotional overload. Over time, many veterans become extremely good at hiding what they are carrying internally because they were conditioned to continue operating no matter what was happening mentally. Unfortunately, that mindset follows many of us home after service ends.

The Veterans Crisis Line is a free and confidential resource available twenty four hours a day for veterans, active duty service members, National Guard members, reservists, and even family members trying to help someone they care about. Veterans can contact the Crisis Line by dialing 988 and pressing 1. You could also text 838255, or chat online through the official Veterans Crisis Line website.

Veterans do not need to wait until they reach a breaking point to have someone to talk to.

Everything you talk about is confidential, it’ll stay between you and the operator. You do not need to be moments away from suicide to contact the Crisis Line. Veterans reach out because they feel emotionally overwhelmed, mentally exhausted, anxious, isolated, angry, unable to cope with stress, or because they simply need another human being to listen without judgment. Sometimes having access to somebody who understands military culture during a difficult moment can make a larger impact than most people realize.

I also think it is important for you to know that you are not weak for calling and speaking to someone on a holiday as emotional as Memorial Day, or any day of the year for that matter. Human beings are not designed to experience prolonged stress, trauma, hypervigilance, emotional suppression, sleep deprivation, and high pressure environments for years without enduring some psychological effects afterwards. Some veterans transition out of service smoothly while others struggle quietly for years trying to readjust to civilian life while pretending everything is okay publicly.

There are also many veterans who struggle during holidays specifically because holidays leave people alone with their thoughts more than usual. Memorial Day especially can bring up memories and emotions that many veterans work very hard to suppress throughout the rest of the year. Sometimes people avoid talking about those experiences because they do not want to make others uncomfortable or because they feel like nobody around them would fully understand anyway.

Another resource is our very own “Veteran only chat room” right here on our website. If you navigate to the top of the page, you’ll see the chat room. This is a safe place for veterans to talk, get to know each other, and share stories about their service or struggles. We give advice and guidance to each other. Sometimes hearing “I understand exactly what you mean” from another veteran carries more weight than any clinical explanation ever could because military life changes people in ways that are difficult to fully explain unless you experienced it yourself.

If you are a veteran struggling mentally this Memorial Day weekend, whether it involves PTSD, depression, anxiety, grief, emotional numbness, substance abuse, panic attacks, anger, sleep issues, or simply feeling isolated after service, please understand that resources exist for a reason and there are people willing to help you before things become too overwhelming to manage alone.

Veterans Crisis Line

Website: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net

Call: 988 then Press 1

Text: 838255

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs

Website: https://www.va.gov

Wounded Warrior Project

Website: https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org

Disabled American Veterans (DAV)

Website: https://www.dav.org

National Center for PTSD

Website: https://www.ptsd.va.gov

How Families and Communities Can Help This Memorial Day:

Veteran outreach cannot fall solely on government programs. Families, friends, employers, churches, nonprofits, and communities all play a role in supporting veterans. Sometimes the most important thing someone can do is simply check in on a veteran they know. Many veterans do not openly ask for help from other people, so a phone call, conversation, or sincere question can make a bigger difference than most people realize. 

Communities can support veterans by learning about veteran mental health resources, encouraging veterans to seek support without shame, sharing resources like the Veterans Crisis Line, supporting veteran nonprofits and outreach programs, and creating spaces where veterans feel understood and respected.

The mission continues, but this time it’s personal.